Good morning all,
I was writing in my blog the other day and was just about to finish and somehow lost the entire thing.. Can't tell you how frustrating that was but I shall try this again. After reading Part 1 to this I must say I love going on and on about crazy stuff.. please forgive me. I do need to go back and tell you about my doctor's visit and then onward from there. I went to the doc on January 3rd for my CAT Scan results and let me tell you I was pretty nervous. I felt like we would hear good news but wasn't too sure how I would handle bad news..if that were the case. Anyway as I was sitting there waiting to be called back which took almost two hours that day for some reason and up walks Mom and Dad.. I was so surprised and happy. They were there with Brian and I to share in the news good or bad. I finally got called back for the doc to exam me. Once he was finished I explained that I had family in the waiting area and that they would love to be in the room as he explained my results. Off the nurse went to get my family and fit all of us in this little small room...we all fit of course and still managed to have a seat for the doc.. lol... He explained that after looking at the cat scan and my blood work that I was now CANCER FREE.....I can't tell you how happy that made us. I am not sure I heard much of what he said after that, but I did hear that he felt so good about the cancer not coming back that he was going to let me get my port a cath out as soon as I wanted to.. I must tell you this spoke volumes as he generally likes all of his patients to keep the port in for at least a year.. I was elated!!! After lots of hugs and well wishes we left the doc office and for some reason all of sudden I had an appetite like you wouldn't believe so it was off to Denny's for us. By the time we got there I think we text everyone we knew about the good news.. My sis Lori and Darlene came up and my sis Lori somehow talked the manager into letting her bring champagne in and he poured us each a glass... we made a toast to being cancer free and had lots of laughs. It was great!!!! Once we were home I just tried to take in all the good news... how amazing our God is... I couldn't believe that I was now cancer free.. 6 months ago it felt like this day would never arrive now it's time to get back on track.. back on the track of living. My girl Terrie and I actually ended up cancelling our trip at Christmas as there were too many red flags to ignore so we planned a trip for the spring. I can't wait. It's been almost two months now since my last chemo treatment and I feel great. I went and had my port taken out yesterday which made me a little nervous but excited too. I feel pretty good.. a little sore but good. Dr. Buckley is an amazing man and although we had some reservations about a few things..... all and all its been great. As great as something like this can be. I don't think I have to tell you that this experience has changed me..it has changed others as well I am sure. I only hope it has changed them for the better. I have always said that life is short, well let me tell you I know now just how short it can be and feel so blessed that God sees a purpose for me here on earth. I am not sure of this purpose and really not sure I should know..I just know this.... whatever that purpose might be I want to make him proud and ensure that as with anyone in my life that has given me a second chance that he nor they ever regret it. I would like to tell you that now I know just how precious life is and that I plan to jump up, change my life and live it to the fullest.. yes that is what my plans are but have realized real quick that real change comes in time. I get very tired very easy and very quickly both physically and mentally. I have been told that it will take quite some time to get back all my strength physically and as far as the mental condition well lets just say that is a work in progress. I feel like right now I should be on cloud nine...with my new of being cancer free now and my port removal.. nothing should be able to get me down...unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case. I am not sure whether it's the lack of hormones now that I have had full hysterectomy or if its just that I am a little off in the head, but I do know this... something is off and I want to get it taken care of. It's strange..... I feel like for the last 6 months I have been taken care of my physical aliments and now I guess it's time to take care of the mental ones. My chemo nurses have all been angels so I gave them a call and they are hooking me up with someone that deals with cancer patients only. Just someone to talk to I guess about anything and everything.. Like I said I feel like I should be on cloud nine right now with all the blessings in my life, but for some reason can't get my head right.. anyway we shall see where it leads and hope that soon I get it all together. I have lots of plans for this year and can't wait to jump right in.. will start out slow,,but hope to pick up the pace as we get further in the year. I do want to mention that I am so blessed to have so many loved ones and friends in my life that care. Even strangers that I have never met have prayed and continue to pray for me. The support and the love I have gotten from every one of them and you has lifted me up in ways that I cannot even begin to mention here. I am not sure how anyone goes through something like this alone. One of my goals for this year is to try and reach out to those who are going through this alone and see if I can find a way to give back in some small way all that has been given to me. I love you all so very much and will try to do better about updating you. Drop me a line or two sometime and tell me about the things going on in your life. I would love to hear and help if I can.. helping others is always good for the soul. Bless you all until next time
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