N.E.D Part 2

Good morning all,

I was writing in my blog the other day and was just about to finish and somehow lost the entire thing.. Can't tell you how frustrating that was but I shall try this again. After reading Part 1 to this I must say I love going on and on about crazy stuff.. please forgive me. I do need to go back and tell you about my doctor's visit and then onward from there. I went to the doc on January 3rd for my CAT Scan results and let me tell you I was pretty nervous. I felt like we would hear good news but wasn't too sure how I would handle bad news..if that were the case. Anyway as I was sitting there waiting to be called back which took almost two hours that day for some reason and up walks Mom and Dad.. I was so surprised and happy. They were there with Brian and I to share in the news good or bad. I finally got called back for the doc to exam me. Once he was finished I explained  that I had family in the waiting area and that they would love to be in the room as he explained my results. Off the nurse went to get my family and fit all of us in this little small room...we all fit of course and still managed to have a seat for the doc.. lol... He explained that after looking at the cat scan and my blood work that I was now CANCER FREE.....I can't tell you how happy that made us. I am not sure I heard much of what he said after that, but I did hear that he felt so good about the cancer not coming back that he was going to let me get my port a cath out as soon as I wanted to.. I must tell you this spoke volumes as he generally likes all of his patients to keep the port in for at least a year.. I was elated!!! After lots of hugs and well wishes we left the doc office and for some reason all of sudden I had an appetite like you wouldn't believe so it was off to Denny's for us. By the time we got there I think we text everyone we knew about the good news.. My sis Lori and Darlene came up and my sis Lori somehow talked the manager into letting her bring champagne in and he poured us each a glass... we made a toast to being cancer free and had lots of laughs. It was great!!!! Once we were home I just tried to take in all the good news... how amazing our God is... I couldn't believe that I was now cancer free.. 6 months ago it felt like this day would never arrive now it's time to get back on track.. back on the track of living. My girl Terrie and I actually ended up cancelling our trip at Christmas as there were too many red flags to ignore so we planned a trip for the spring. I can't wait. It's been almost two months now since my last chemo treatment and I feel great. I went and had my port taken out yesterday which made me a little nervous but excited too. I feel pretty good.. a little sore but good. Dr. Buckley is an amazing man and although we had some reservations about a few things..... all and all its been great. As great as something like this can be. I don't think I have to tell you that this experience has changed me..it has changed others as well I am sure. I only hope it has changed them for the better. I have always said that life is short, well let me tell you I know now just how short it can be and feel so blessed that God sees a purpose for me here on earth. I am not sure of this purpose and really not sure I should know..I just know this.... whatever that purpose might be I want to make him proud and ensure that as with anyone in my life that has given me a second chance that he nor they ever regret it. I would like to tell you that now I know just how precious life is and that I plan to jump up, change my life and live it to the fullest.. yes that is what my plans are but have realized real quick that real change comes in time. I get very tired very easy and very quickly both physically and mentally. I have been told that it will take quite some time to get back all my strength physically and as far as the mental condition well lets just say  that is a work in progress. I feel like right now I should be on cloud nine...with my new of being cancer free now and my port removal.. nothing should be able to get me down...unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case. I am not sure whether it's the lack of hormones now that I have had full hysterectomy or if its just that I am a little off in the head, but I do know this... something is off and I want to get it taken care of. It's strange..... I feel like for the last 6 months I have been taken care of my physical aliments and now I guess it's time to take care of the mental ones. My chemo nurses have all been angels so I gave them a call and they are hooking me up with someone that deals with cancer patients only. Just someone to talk to I guess about anything and everything.. Like I said I feel like I should be on cloud nine right now with all the blessings in my life,  but for some reason can't get my head right.. anyway we shall see where it leads and hope that soon I get it all together. I have lots of plans for this year and can't wait to jump right in.. will start out slow,,but hope to pick up the pace as we get further in the year. I do want to mention that I am so blessed to have so many loved ones and friends in my life that care. Even strangers that I have never met have prayed and continue to pray for me. The support and the love I have gotten from every one of them and you has lifted me up in ways that I cannot even begin to mention here. I am  not sure how anyone goes through something like this alone. One of my goals for this year is to try and reach out to those who are going through this alone and see if I can find a way to give back in some small way all that has been given to me. I love you all so very much and will try to do better about updating you. Drop me a line or two sometime and tell me about the things going on in your life. I would love to hear and help if I can.. helping others is always good for the soul. Bless you all until next time

N.E.D Part 1

Hello All,
First let me start by telling everyone I went to the Doctor on Monday for my CAT Scan test results and guess what it now says in my chart???? N.E.D!!! For those who don't know that stands for NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE.. That's right I am now Cancer Free!!!!!! Whoohoooo .. I will come back to that news later in in my blog, but just had to start with that. I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful Holiday. Ours was filled with blessings beyond compare. It's been 30 days now since my last Chemo treatment and I feel great. The taste in my mouth is just about gone. Every now and again I get that bad taste in my mouth but not often and food is really starting to taste good again. This could be a good and a bad thing as I seem to have no trouble gaining back all the weight I lost since surgery. I feel like I want to eat everything in sight. It is funny though as I never really lost my appetite during chemo, I just couldn't eat because of the taste in my mouth. I have heard others talk about a metallic taste...but mine was nothing like that. It was just this bad horrible taste along with swollen cheeks, tongue and gums. The fur feeling inside my mouth was the worst I think, but that's all over now and the mouth is doing great. I did lose half of my front tooth Christmas Eve which was pretty upsetting to me. As always though my husband Brian and my daughter Courtney insisted that I was still beautiful with or without half of my front tooth and were adamant about putting me back in the Christmas spirit. Now for those of you who didn't know, my girl Terrie and I had a trip planned to LaGrange the day after Christmas so that we could spend part of Christmas together. First we would make our way to Pa Bob's house for the Reeves family Christmas and then off to her son's house for the Cagle family Christmas. We were so excited about this trip and had been planning it for what seemed to be an eternity. Everything was all set. I was getting better every day it seemed and all I needed was for Terrie to meet me there. Well a few days before our trip I really started to feel tired and weak again.. it struck me as strange that I could get tired so quickly and this worried me a little as the drive to LaGrange is almost a 6 hours, but I pushed along and told myself I would be fine just eat right, get lots of rest and pray ..pray...pray.. so here we are all ready to go and then the night before Christmas half my tooth falls out... well needless to say that on top of being upset about what I looked like now I must decide whether or not I should still go to LaGrange looking like this. Well it really didn't take long as I knew I could in no way tell everyone I wasn't coming because my tooth fell out. They would have come to Yulee, hog tied me and drug me all the way to LaGrange, so I decided I would not cancel my trip, but just try to keep a tight lip as I spoke to anyone and maybe I could cover my mouth when bursting out with laughter as there is always lots of laughter when I am with Terrie's family. I will admit Christmas Eve was not looking too good though.. even after deciding that I would still make the trip I was horrified at the thought of everyone seeing me like this.. I tried hard, but just couldn't seem to shake the feeling that I was really starting to look like a monster now. No hair, a face that had seemed to age 20 years in 4 months time and now my front teeth falling out. As I sat there feeling sorry for myself and wondering how would I go out of the house like this???? In walks my grand babies Bryce and Brylee and behind them my Daughter Mandy and her Husband Johnny.. I know my face lit up the whole room.. just to see my babies.. oh how it made my heart feel so wonderful. My grand babies can truly turn my worst days into the best days .. they make me feel a joy that is just unexplainable.. now after about 30 minutes of watching my little darlings run around my house my daughter gives me the best Christmas gift ever.. she looks at me and says "Momma.. we have decided that we are going to stay here with you tonight, Christmas Eve, so that you can watch your grand babies wake up on Christmas morning and open their gifts under the tree" I cannot tell you what that did for me.. at that very moment and for the rest of the night It didn't matter how many teeth I was missing in my mouth.. My grand babies were going to be with me on Christmas eve and Christmas morning and nothing could top that!!!! What a blessing.. You know..through this entire ordeal God always seems to find a way to bless me even in my darkest hour...Words cannot explain what a wonderful God he is and just how amazing he has been to me and my family. Okay I have way too much to say and not enough time to say it in so I will stop for now, but I will continue this weekend. Wow I could write forever.. love you all