Good morning all,
I hope you had a great week. My week was good. Got lots going on at work, but it's all good thank goodness. Had a busy week trying to get ready for Relay for Life. What an amazing event. I was part of the Folkston City Hall team and we did amazing. We raised $766.00 all together for our team and can't wait to see how much in total everyone raised. I will be sure to let you know once I find out. All the teams worked so hard. Mary-Kay was our MC for the night and was amazing as always. Let me tell you about the wonderful surprise I found when I got up there Friday night. I knew that a few members of my family would join us, but had no idea my daughter Mandy and her husband Johnny was gonna show..what an amazing surprise that was.. then I get to the team tent and everyone has these buttons on with my picture on them and they said "Our reason for relay" I can't tell you how this made me feel. Not only did they have the buttons, but they also made a banner that read " We love (with a heart) Lady Di" and then there were posters all over that said Team Diane... Yes you got it.. I bawled like a baby... all that work .. and it was so beautiful.. I never expected anything like that. It was so awesome!!!! I wish I knew how to post pictures in this blog because let me tell you the words do not do them justice. It was an amazing night for all .. the survivors, the caregivers, the friends and family.. it was just amazing. The luminaries were amazing as well. What an amazing night. I think I have said the word AMAZING several times now, but that seems to be the only word I can use to describe it. Darlene, Katie, Dionne and my Momma made all the buttons and banners.. and set the tent up with yard sales goods. My Daddy made the best Boston butts for sandwiches which sold like hotcakes along with lemonade made by Ms Darlene and my Momma.. brownies and cookies that were made by a girl that works with my sister Leigh (don't know her name, but I will get it and post) and everyone working the tent. There were so many people there to support me as well.. My sisters Lori with her bo Jeff and my nephew Dillon, Darlene and my niece Boogie, Leigh with her husband William, my daughters Mandy with her husband Johnny, Courtney, My Momma Linda and My Daddy Phil, and my amazing husband Brian.. Everyone worked so hard.. I honestly cannot tell you what that night made me feel like. It was more than I can put into words. I have the best family and friends a person could want. I am so blessed to have so many good people in my life. The survivor and caregiver lap was so spiritual... everyone lined the track and clapped as we walked.. what a wonderful feeling and to be walking with so many other survivors, my family and friends all around me.. my momma couldn't walk the lap with us as she has had some trouble with her back, but I can tell you she was walking with me... I almost feel guilty that one person should have so many caregivers... each and everyone from the girls that work with my momma to my amazing family... put me on cloud nine...My spirit has never been higher.... I love all of them so very much!!!! I wish I could stress to everyone how important relay for life is to so many...I can only hope that someday I can make others feel as special as everyone made me feel.. Have a great week all ...and thank you Jesus for bringing so many special people into my life..
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Relay for Life
Good Morning All
Where to start?? It's been a while since my last blog and I have so much to catch you up on.. I left off last time with my trip to North Georgia and just let me say once more.. how amazing our "Girls Gone Gray" weekend was.. it was just what the doctor ordered. Lots of rest, relaxation, spiritual uplifting and tons of laughs..laughing truly is so good for the soul. Came back from Georgia and got back into the routine of our daily life. My friend Donna's daughter Rose had a baby girl on March 14th so up to the hospital I went to see her on the 16th. Had a great visit and really enjoy holding such a little one again. My friend Donna walked me out and right before we could walk out the door I stepped onto a very wet floor and down I went. Fell to my knees and then on to my buttocks. The fall hurt and was sore, but pretty embarrassed by this point so had them put me in a wheel chair and wheel me to a much dryer surface then got up and left. Well don't ya know two days later my wrist was throbbing so once again in the middle of the night I head up to the hospital and sure enough..I broke my wrist trying to brace my fall. After a few hours in the ER and a makeshift cast from fingers to elbow I left the hospital and went on home. By the the time I reached the house the pain in my wrist was worse than ever and that was after I had a taken a pain pill (which I do not like to take). Soooo back up to the hospital I went. Come to find out they had wrapped the cast too tight so they cut it off and wrapped another much looser this time.. Thank you Jesus... Went to my family doc on Monday the 21st just to get a referral ($30.00) and then off to the orthopedic surgeon on Wednesday the 23rd. I have to tell you by this point my spirit was all but gone...I had just gotten to a place where I was feeling so much better and felt really good about the way I looked and then boom...now I was looking at wearing a cast for goodness knows how long and/or maybe even surgery..... I prayed about it a lot and almost called my therapist a time or two as It just seemed I couldn't take much more... I did however realize that this could be so much worse and after all..... this storm too was so much smaller than my God... so off to the orthopedic surgeon we went. I hoped for the best, but feared the worst. Doc took a look at my hand and then the xrays and said okay.. we got a chip off the wrist just floating around in there so let's put a thumb spike on it for 4 weeks and see how it looks from there. Now I have to tell you the moment he brought out the thumb spike and I got a look at how mobile my hand was going to be and the fact that I could remove it each time I got into the shower and no surgery involved....just lit me up like a firecracker. My hubby said you could just see the light come back into my face. Once again our Lord picked me up, laid his hands on me and went to work... it has now been three weeks, so went back to doctor on Wednesday the 13th and everything looks great!!! Was able to take the thumb spike off and no physical therapy needed. Thank you Jesus.... I am now healed and have full use of my hand. It's a little sore, but that's to be expected. I can't tell you how wonderful I feel. Now it's back on the road to recovery for me physically and mentally and I am ready to conquer the world again. God is sooo good and I am so thankful.. Now it's time to rally the forces and work for a good cause.. Relay for Life is coming up on April 29th and I cannot wait!!! I am so excited. I do have a confession to make...throughout my ordeal with Cancer I have always been afraid to call myself a survivor..not really sure why... I guess I feared that in some way I was tempting fate ... or as my momma would say "counting my chickens before they hatch", but I have realized( thanks to Relay for Life) that it's okay to call yourself a survivor... heck it's down right therapeutic...This all came to me as I was invited to a dinner for survivors through Relay for Life and let me just say I was so proud to be called a survivor and to be in the company of so many with such amazing courage. There were survivors there that had now survived the big C for more than 40 years!!!! I have to tell you...that alone has given me so much hope. The dinner was amazing and I am so thankful I was invited. I have to tell you a little story behind this ...throughout my fight with cancer my mom kept telling me about this friend of hers, Mary Kay (so sorry if the spelling is wrong) that had put me on her prayer list, asked about me each time they met and was following my blog religiously... Each time mom would tell me about her ..my momma's eyes would just light up and I could tell what an inspiration she was and already had been to so many and to my mom. Well Mary Kay was the MC at the dinner last night and now I know first hand why my Momma's eyes light up each time she talks about her.. This woman is amazing... The best way to describe her is a walking, talking, breathing light of hope... she is a tiny woman, but so large is spirit!!!! You can see her from across any room ...she truly stands out in a crowd... so funny how God puts people in your path... this is one.... that I can tell you... I am so glad to know and so thankful I finally got to meet. Thank you Mary Kay for your relentless and dedicated commitment in shining a beam of light for others to see and feel... You are truly inspirational and I can't wait to see you again on the 29th. It was mentioned at the dinner last night that so many refrain from donating to our cause as they feel their efforts will not benefit those on a local level, but what they don't realize is that when you donate to the American Cancer Society it does help those locally and all across this great country. It helps so many is so many ways..way too many to mention here. Please.. help us fight this nasty disease and donate today.. even if you can't donate money donate your time... there are so many ways that we can make a difference. For just $5.00 you can purchase what they call a luminaria in honor of or in memory of a friend or loved one who has had cancer. Your contribution will help save lives, give hope, and empower people through the American Cancer Society and its lifesaving mission. Follow these simple steps to purchase a luminaria online....
1. Go to www.relayforlife.org/charltonga
2. On left side of page click on - Relay Teams
3. Click on - City of Folkston
4. Click on the Red Arrow next to Luminaria
5. Fill in the little form for each bag you'd like to purchase and add to cart.
6. You'll fill in all your info from there
What a wonderful way to pay tribute to those we know and love that have had to battle this horrible disease.
I will finish up now by saying that it wasn't until last night that I really realized what my blog was doing for some... I had actually fooled myself into believing that as my battle with cancer was ending that so too would end the interest in the story of my ongoing fight to stay cancer free....well I was made very aware last night that this could not be further from the truth ...that as long as there is something to say there are those who want to listen... WOW... I can't tell you how amazing that makes me feel.... sooooo from here on out I will do my very best to share with you more often the peaks and valleys in my life and hope that you too take just a little bit (or a lot) of both and use it through your peaks and valleys. I also hope that you too will share with me... tell me your story...no matter how small or large.... your story has a voice here and makes a difference.... I love you all and hope you have an amazing week... You are in my heart and prayers always!!!!!
Where to start?? It's been a while since my last blog and I have so much to catch you up on.. I left off last time with my trip to North Georgia and just let me say once more.. how amazing our "Girls Gone Gray" weekend was.. it was just what the doctor ordered. Lots of rest, relaxation, spiritual uplifting and tons of laughs..laughing truly is so good for the soul. Came back from Georgia and got back into the routine of our daily life. My friend Donna's daughter Rose had a baby girl on March 14th so up to the hospital I went to see her on the 16th. Had a great visit and really enjoy holding such a little one again. My friend Donna walked me out and right before we could walk out the door I stepped onto a very wet floor and down I went. Fell to my knees and then on to my buttocks. The fall hurt and was sore, but pretty embarrassed by this point so had them put me in a wheel chair and wheel me to a much dryer surface then got up and left. Well don't ya know two days later my wrist was throbbing so once again in the middle of the night I head up to the hospital and sure enough..I broke my wrist trying to brace my fall. After a few hours in the ER and a makeshift cast from fingers to elbow I left the hospital and went on home. By the the time I reached the house the pain in my wrist was worse than ever and that was after I had a taken a pain pill (which I do not like to take). Soooo back up to the hospital I went. Come to find out they had wrapped the cast too tight so they cut it off and wrapped another much looser this time.. Thank you Jesus... Went to my family doc on Monday the 21st just to get a referral ($30.00) and then off to the orthopedic surgeon on Wednesday the 23rd. I have to tell you by this point my spirit was all but gone...I had just gotten to a place where I was feeling so much better and felt really good about the way I looked and then boom...now I was looking at wearing a cast for goodness knows how long and/or maybe even surgery..... I prayed about it a lot and almost called my therapist a time or two as It just seemed I couldn't take much more... I did however realize that this could be so much worse and after all..... this storm too was so much smaller than my God... so off to the orthopedic surgeon we went. I hoped for the best, but feared the worst. Doc took a look at my hand and then the xrays and said okay.. we got a chip off the wrist just floating around in there so let's put a thumb spike on it for 4 weeks and see how it looks from there. Now I have to tell you the moment he brought out the thumb spike and I got a look at how mobile my hand was going to be and the fact that I could remove it each time I got into the shower and no surgery involved....just lit me up like a firecracker. My hubby said you could just see the light come back into my face. Once again our Lord picked me up, laid his hands on me and went to work... it has now been three weeks, so went back to doctor on Wednesday the 13th and everything looks great!!! Was able to take the thumb spike off and no physical therapy needed. Thank you Jesus.... I am now healed and have full use of my hand. It's a little sore, but that's to be expected. I can't tell you how wonderful I feel. Now it's back on the road to recovery for me physically and mentally and I am ready to conquer the world again. God is sooo good and I am so thankful.. Now it's time to rally the forces and work for a good cause.. Relay for Life is coming up on April 29th and I cannot wait!!! I am so excited. I do have a confession to make...throughout my ordeal with Cancer I have always been afraid to call myself a survivor..not really sure why... I guess I feared that in some way I was tempting fate ... or as my momma would say "counting my chickens before they hatch", but I have realized( thanks to Relay for Life) that it's okay to call yourself a survivor... heck it's down right therapeutic...This all came to me as I was invited to a dinner for survivors through Relay for Life and let me just say I was so proud to be called a survivor and to be in the company of so many with such amazing courage. There were survivors there that had now survived the big C for more than 40 years!!!! I have to tell you...that alone has given me so much hope. The dinner was amazing and I am so thankful I was invited. I have to tell you a little story behind this ...throughout my fight with cancer my mom kept telling me about this friend of hers, Mary Kay (so sorry if the spelling is wrong) that had put me on her prayer list, asked about me each time they met and was following my blog religiously... Each time mom would tell me about her ..my momma's eyes would just light up and I could tell what an inspiration she was and already had been to so many and to my mom. Well Mary Kay was the MC at the dinner last night and now I know first hand why my Momma's eyes light up each time she talks about her.. This woman is amazing... The best way to describe her is a walking, talking, breathing light of hope... she is a tiny woman, but so large is spirit!!!! You can see her from across any room ...she truly stands out in a crowd... so funny how God puts people in your path... this is one.... that I can tell you... I am so glad to know and so thankful I finally got to meet. Thank you Mary Kay for your relentless and dedicated commitment in shining a beam of light for others to see and feel... You are truly inspirational and I can't wait to see you again on the 29th. It was mentioned at the dinner last night that so many refrain from donating to our cause as they feel their efforts will not benefit those on a local level, but what they don't realize is that when you donate to the American Cancer Society it does help those locally and all across this great country. It helps so many is so many ways..way too many to mention here. Please.. help us fight this nasty disease and donate today.. even if you can't donate money donate your time... there are so many ways that we can make a difference. For just $5.00 you can purchase what they call a luminaria in honor of or in memory of a friend or loved one who has had cancer. Your contribution will help save lives, give hope, and empower people through the American Cancer Society and its lifesaving mission. Follow these simple steps to purchase a luminaria online....
1. Go to www.relayforlife.org/charltonga
2. On left side of page click on - Relay Teams
3. Click on - City of Folkston
4. Click on the Red Arrow next to Luminaria
5. Fill in the little form for each bag you'd like to purchase and add to cart.
6. You'll fill in all your info from there
What a wonderful way to pay tribute to those we know and love that have had to battle this horrible disease.
I will finish up now by saying that it wasn't until last night that I really realized what my blog was doing for some... I had actually fooled myself into believing that as my battle with cancer was ending that so too would end the interest in the story of my ongoing fight to stay cancer free....well I was made very aware last night that this could not be further from the truth ...that as long as there is something to say there are those who want to listen... WOW... I can't tell you how amazing that makes me feel.... sooooo from here on out I will do my very best to share with you more often the peaks and valleys in my life and hope that you too take just a little bit (or a lot) of both and use it through your peaks and valleys. I also hope that you too will share with me... tell me your story...no matter how small or large.... your story has a voice here and makes a difference.... I love you all and hope you have an amazing week... You are in my heart and prayers always!!!!!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
New Normal Part 2
Good morning all,
I hope everyone is doing well. I am doing great. I feel stronger and stronger every day. I just spent a week up in the North Georgia mountains with my two best girls and it was wonderful!!!! There is nothing more healing than true friendship... I love them both more than words can say. I am doing great physically. Hair is coming back pretty good. Some have even said I am starting to look like Jamie Lee Curtis which is exactly what I wanted..whooohooo... eyes are not so dark anymore. Now if I just get my teeth fixed. Made an appointment finally with my family physician for March 23rd just like Dr. Buckley (my oncologist) told me too... couple months late, but done. I have my first 3 month check up on April 11th and go for blood work sometime within the next two weeks.Now all I need to do is make an appointment with the dentist which I am dreading and take care of my vision as well... wow sounds like I am falling apart, but I'm really not..just ready to take care of myself and be the best that I can be. I am still seeing my therapist once every two weeks. It seems to be going ok. Sometimes I feel like I am wasting his time as we talk about every day things which I should be able to handle on my own. will continue to go for now and see where it leads. Everything is pretty quiet now and I do enjoy the peace that seems to be settling in.. I pray a lot and look to him for guidance. God is so good. If I only had the time to tell you of all the miracles I have seen and heard lately. He is an amazing God!!!! Well better go for now.. I am meeting my daughter for breakfast this morning and then off to grocery shop.. yeah me.. Tomorrow is my Lil Man's Birthday and I am so thankful to be here to celebrate it with him.. I love you all!!!! Have a great weekend!!!
I hope everyone is doing well. I am doing great. I feel stronger and stronger every day. I just spent a week up in the North Georgia mountains with my two best girls and it was wonderful!!!! There is nothing more healing than true friendship... I love them both more than words can say. I am doing great physically. Hair is coming back pretty good. Some have even said I am starting to look like Jamie Lee Curtis which is exactly what I wanted..whooohooo... eyes are not so dark anymore. Now if I just get my teeth fixed. Made an appointment finally with my family physician for March 23rd just like Dr. Buckley (my oncologist) told me too... couple months late, but done. I have my first 3 month check up on April 11th and go for blood work sometime within the next two weeks.Now all I need to do is make an appointment with the dentist which I am dreading and take care of my vision as well... wow sounds like I am falling apart, but I'm really not..just ready to take care of myself and be the best that I can be. I am still seeing my therapist once every two weeks. It seems to be going ok. Sometimes I feel like I am wasting his time as we talk about every day things which I should be able to handle on my own. will continue to go for now and see where it leads. Everything is pretty quiet now and I do enjoy the peace that seems to be settling in.. I pray a lot and look to him for guidance. God is so good. If I only had the time to tell you of all the miracles I have seen and heard lately. He is an amazing God!!!! Well better go for now.. I am meeting my daughter for breakfast this morning and then off to grocery shop.. yeah me.. Tomorrow is my Lil Man's Birthday and I am so thankful to be here to celebrate it with him.. I love you all!!!! Have a great weekend!!!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Trying to find a New "Normal"
Hello All,
I wanted to check in and give you an update on where I am. The last time I wrote my chemo nurses were setting me up with someone to talk to about some of the things going through my head. Well they set me up with a a gentleman named Dr. Royal.I believe he specializes in cancer patients which makes me feel pretty comfortable. I went to see him Tuesday Feb 15th and it went pretty well for the most part. First appointment is always the longest. 90 minutes to put a foundation together of who I am. It was all pretty clinical on this first visit, but I guess that is to be expected. He did speak to me about a few things and gave me some ideas on how to cope for now. It all seems so strange to me that once I started to feel better physically.... BAM!!!!!! my phsycological health went tubing... The doc says this is very common in cancer patients. I guess what happens is we get so busy fighting the actual disease itself and it's physical demands that we push the physcological ones behind us. Hopefully with time and a little therapy maybe we can get back to what the doc calls a New Normal. I was looking back through my first blogs and on my very first one my girl Terrie mentioned a "New Normal" how did she know???? Anyway I am ready to get rid of these feelings of depression and anxiety and move forward. I thought about finding a support group as well. If anyone knows of one please let me know. All is going great physically with me. Seem to be getting my strength back and my hair is definitly coming back. Still not real sure of the color but looking like salt and pepper right now. Thats fine with me.. any color is better than bald.. haha I hope you all are having an amazing year so far. Write me and let me know how you are doing. God is always good!!!!!
I wanted to check in and give you an update on where I am. The last time I wrote my chemo nurses were setting me up with someone to talk to about some of the things going through my head. Well they set me up with a a gentleman named Dr. Royal.I believe he specializes in cancer patients which makes me feel pretty comfortable. I went to see him Tuesday Feb 15th and it went pretty well for the most part. First appointment is always the longest. 90 minutes to put a foundation together of who I am. It was all pretty clinical on this first visit, but I guess that is to be expected. He did speak to me about a few things and gave me some ideas on how to cope for now. It all seems so strange to me that once I started to feel better physically.... BAM!!!!!! my phsycological health went tubing... The doc says this is very common in cancer patients. I guess what happens is we get so busy fighting the actual disease itself and it's physical demands that we push the physcological ones behind us. Hopefully with time and a little therapy maybe we can get back to what the doc calls a New Normal. I was looking back through my first blogs and on my very first one my girl Terrie mentioned a "New Normal" how did she know???? Anyway I am ready to get rid of these feelings of depression and anxiety and move forward. I thought about finding a support group as well. If anyone knows of one please let me know. All is going great physically with me. Seem to be getting my strength back and my hair is definitly coming back. Still not real sure of the color but looking like salt and pepper right now. Thats fine with me.. any color is better than bald.. haha I hope you all are having an amazing year so far. Write me and let me know how you are doing. God is always good!!!!!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
N.E.D Part 2
Good morning all,
I was writing in my blog the other day and was just about to finish and somehow lost the entire thing.. Can't tell you how frustrating that was but I shall try this again. After reading Part 1 to this I must say I love going on and on about crazy stuff.. please forgive me. I do need to go back and tell you about my doctor's visit and then onward from there. I went to the doc on January 3rd for my CAT Scan results and let me tell you I was pretty nervous. I felt like we would hear good news but wasn't too sure how I would handle bad news..if that were the case. Anyway as I was sitting there waiting to be called back which took almost two hours that day for some reason and up walks Mom and Dad.. I was so surprised and happy. They were there with Brian and I to share in the news good or bad. I finally got called back for the doc to exam me. Once he was finished I explained that I had family in the waiting area and that they would love to be in the room as he explained my results. Off the nurse went to get my family and fit all of us in this little small room...we all fit of course and still managed to have a seat for the doc.. lol... He explained that after looking at the cat scan and my blood work that I was now CANCER FREE.....I can't tell you how happy that made us. I am not sure I heard much of what he said after that, but I did hear that he felt so good about the cancer not coming back that he was going to let me get my port a cath out as soon as I wanted to.. I must tell you this spoke volumes as he generally likes all of his patients to keep the port in for at least a year.. I was elated!!! After lots of hugs and well wishes we left the doc office and for some reason all of sudden I had an appetite like you wouldn't believe so it was off to Denny's for us. By the time we got there I think we text everyone we knew about the good news.. My sis Lori and Darlene came up and my sis Lori somehow talked the manager into letting her bring champagne in and he poured us each a glass... we made a toast to being cancer free and had lots of laughs. It was great!!!! Once we were home I just tried to take in all the good news... how amazing our God is... I couldn't believe that I was now cancer free.. 6 months ago it felt like this day would never arrive now it's time to get back on track.. back on the track of living. My girl Terrie and I actually ended up cancelling our trip at Christmas as there were too many red flags to ignore so we planned a trip for the spring. I can't wait. It's been almost two months now since my last chemo treatment and I feel great. I went and had my port taken out yesterday which made me a little nervous but excited too. I feel pretty good.. a little sore but good. Dr. Buckley is an amazing man and although we had some reservations about a few things..... all and all its been great. As great as something like this can be. I don't think I have to tell you that this experience has changed me..it has changed others as well I am sure. I only hope it has changed them for the better. I have always said that life is short, well let me tell you I know now just how short it can be and feel so blessed that God sees a purpose for me here on earth. I am not sure of this purpose and really not sure I should know..I just know this.... whatever that purpose might be I want to make him proud and ensure that as with anyone in my life that has given me a second chance that he nor they ever regret it. I would like to tell you that now I know just how precious life is and that I plan to jump up, change my life and live it to the fullest.. yes that is what my plans are but have realized real quick that real change comes in time. I get very tired very easy and very quickly both physically and mentally. I have been told that it will take quite some time to get back all my strength physically and as far as the mental condition well lets just say that is a work in progress. I feel like right now I should be on cloud nine...with my new of being cancer free now and my port removal.. nothing should be able to get me down...unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case. I am not sure whether it's the lack of hormones now that I have had full hysterectomy or if its just that I am a little off in the head, but I do know this... something is off and I want to get it taken care of. It's strange..... I feel like for the last 6 months I have been taken care of my physical aliments and now I guess it's time to take care of the mental ones. My chemo nurses have all been angels so I gave them a call and they are hooking me up with someone that deals with cancer patients only. Just someone to talk to I guess about anything and everything.. Like I said I feel like I should be on cloud nine right now with all the blessings in my life, but for some reason can't get my head right.. anyway we shall see where it leads and hope that soon I get it all together. I have lots of plans for this year and can't wait to jump right in.. will start out slow,,but hope to pick up the pace as we get further in the year. I do want to mention that I am so blessed to have so many loved ones and friends in my life that care. Even strangers that I have never met have prayed and continue to pray for me. The support and the love I have gotten from every one of them and you has lifted me up in ways that I cannot even begin to mention here. I am not sure how anyone goes through something like this alone. One of my goals for this year is to try and reach out to those who are going through this alone and see if I can find a way to give back in some small way all that has been given to me. I love you all so very much and will try to do better about updating you. Drop me a line or two sometime and tell me about the things going on in your life. I would love to hear and help if I can.. helping others is always good for the soul. Bless you all until next time
I was writing in my blog the other day and was just about to finish and somehow lost the entire thing.. Can't tell you how frustrating that was but I shall try this again. After reading Part 1 to this I must say I love going on and on about crazy stuff.. please forgive me. I do need to go back and tell you about my doctor's visit and then onward from there. I went to the doc on January 3rd for my CAT Scan results and let me tell you I was pretty nervous. I felt like we would hear good news but wasn't too sure how I would handle bad news..if that were the case. Anyway as I was sitting there waiting to be called back which took almost two hours that day for some reason and up walks Mom and Dad.. I was so surprised and happy. They were there with Brian and I to share in the news good or bad. I finally got called back for the doc to exam me. Once he was finished I explained that I had family in the waiting area and that they would love to be in the room as he explained my results. Off the nurse went to get my family and fit all of us in this little small room...we all fit of course and still managed to have a seat for the doc.. lol... He explained that after looking at the cat scan and my blood work that I was now CANCER FREE.....I can't tell you how happy that made us. I am not sure I heard much of what he said after that, but I did hear that he felt so good about the cancer not coming back that he was going to let me get my port a cath out as soon as I wanted to.. I must tell you this spoke volumes as he generally likes all of his patients to keep the port in for at least a year.. I was elated!!! After lots of hugs and well wishes we left the doc office and for some reason all of sudden I had an appetite like you wouldn't believe so it was off to Denny's for us. By the time we got there I think we text everyone we knew about the good news.. My sis Lori and Darlene came up and my sis Lori somehow talked the manager into letting her bring champagne in and he poured us each a glass... we made a toast to being cancer free and had lots of laughs. It was great!!!! Once we were home I just tried to take in all the good news... how amazing our God is... I couldn't believe that I was now cancer free.. 6 months ago it felt like this day would never arrive now it's time to get back on track.. back on the track of living. My girl Terrie and I actually ended up cancelling our trip at Christmas as there were too many red flags to ignore so we planned a trip for the spring. I can't wait. It's been almost two months now since my last chemo treatment and I feel great. I went and had my port taken out yesterday which made me a little nervous but excited too. I feel pretty good.. a little sore but good. Dr. Buckley is an amazing man and although we had some reservations about a few things..... all and all its been great. As great as something like this can be. I don't think I have to tell you that this experience has changed me..it has changed others as well I am sure. I only hope it has changed them for the better. I have always said that life is short, well let me tell you I know now just how short it can be and feel so blessed that God sees a purpose for me here on earth. I am not sure of this purpose and really not sure I should know..I just know this.... whatever that purpose might be I want to make him proud and ensure that as with anyone in my life that has given me a second chance that he nor they ever regret it. I would like to tell you that now I know just how precious life is and that I plan to jump up, change my life and live it to the fullest.. yes that is what my plans are but have realized real quick that real change comes in time. I get very tired very easy and very quickly both physically and mentally. I have been told that it will take quite some time to get back all my strength physically and as far as the mental condition well lets just say that is a work in progress. I feel like right now I should be on cloud nine...with my new of being cancer free now and my port removal.. nothing should be able to get me down...unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case. I am not sure whether it's the lack of hormones now that I have had full hysterectomy or if its just that I am a little off in the head, but I do know this... something is off and I want to get it taken care of. It's strange..... I feel like for the last 6 months I have been taken care of my physical aliments and now I guess it's time to take care of the mental ones. My chemo nurses have all been angels so I gave them a call and they are hooking me up with someone that deals with cancer patients only. Just someone to talk to I guess about anything and everything.. Like I said I feel like I should be on cloud nine right now with all the blessings in my life, but for some reason can't get my head right.. anyway we shall see where it leads and hope that soon I get it all together. I have lots of plans for this year and can't wait to jump right in.. will start out slow,,but hope to pick up the pace as we get further in the year. I do want to mention that I am so blessed to have so many loved ones and friends in my life that care. Even strangers that I have never met have prayed and continue to pray for me. The support and the love I have gotten from every one of them and you has lifted me up in ways that I cannot even begin to mention here. I am not sure how anyone goes through something like this alone. One of my goals for this year is to try and reach out to those who are going through this alone and see if I can find a way to give back in some small way all that has been given to me. I love you all so very much and will try to do better about updating you. Drop me a line or two sometime and tell me about the things going on in your life. I would love to hear and help if I can.. helping others is always good for the soul. Bless you all until next time
Friday, January 7, 2011
N.E.D Part 1
Hello All,
First let me start by telling everyone I went to the Doctor on Monday for my CAT Scan test results and guess what it now says in my chart???? N.E.D!!! For those who don't know that stands for NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE.. That's right I am now Cancer Free!!!!!! Whoohoooo .. I will come back to that news later in in my blog, but just had to start with that. I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful Holiday. Ours was filled with blessings beyond compare. It's been 30 days now since my last Chemo treatment and I feel great. The taste in my mouth is just about gone. Every now and again I get that bad taste in my mouth but not often and food is really starting to taste good again. This could be a good and a bad thing as I seem to have no trouble gaining back all the weight I lost since surgery. I feel like I want to eat everything in sight. It is funny though as I never really lost my appetite during chemo, I just couldn't eat because of the taste in my mouth. I have heard others talk about a metallic taste...but mine was nothing like that. It was just this bad horrible taste along with swollen cheeks, tongue and gums. The fur feeling inside my mouth was the worst I think, but that's all over now and the mouth is doing great. I did lose half of my front tooth Christmas Eve which was pretty upsetting to me. As always though my husband Brian and my daughter Courtney insisted that I was still beautiful with or without half of my front tooth and were adamant about putting me back in the Christmas spirit. Now for those of you who didn't know, my girl Terrie and I had a trip planned to LaGrange the day after Christmas so that we could spend part of Christmas together. First we would make our way to Pa Bob's house for the Reeves family Christmas and then off to her son's house for the Cagle family Christmas. We were so excited about this trip and had been planning it for what seemed to be an eternity. Everything was all set. I was getting better every day it seemed and all I needed was for Terrie to meet me there. Well a few days before our trip I really started to feel tired and weak again.. it struck me as strange that I could get tired so quickly and this worried me a little as the drive to LaGrange is almost a 6 hours, but I pushed along and told myself I would be fine just eat right, get lots of rest and pray ..pray...pray.. so here we are all ready to go and then the night before Christmas half my tooth falls out... well needless to say that on top of being upset about what I looked like now I must decide whether or not I should still go to LaGrange looking like this. Well it really didn't take long as I knew I could in no way tell everyone I wasn't coming because my tooth fell out. They would have come to Yulee, hog tied me and drug me all the way to LaGrange, so I decided I would not cancel my trip, but just try to keep a tight lip as I spoke to anyone and maybe I could cover my mouth when bursting out with laughter as there is always lots of laughter when I am with Terrie's family. I will admit Christmas Eve was not looking too good though.. even after deciding that I would still make the trip I was horrified at the thought of everyone seeing me like this.. I tried hard, but just couldn't seem to shake the feeling that I was really starting to look like a monster now. No hair, a face that had seemed to age 20 years in 4 months time and now my front teeth falling out. As I sat there feeling sorry for myself and wondering how would I go out of the house like this???? In walks my grand babies Bryce and Brylee and behind them my Daughter Mandy and her Husband Johnny.. I know my face lit up the whole room.. just to see my babies.. oh how it made my heart feel so wonderful. My grand babies can truly turn my worst days into the best days .. they make me feel a joy that is just unexplainable.. now after about 30 minutes of watching my little darlings run around my house my daughter gives me the best Christmas gift ever.. she looks at me and says "Momma.. we have decided that we are going to stay here with you tonight, Christmas Eve, so that you can watch your grand babies wake up on Christmas morning and open their gifts under the tree" I cannot tell you what that did for me.. at that very moment and for the rest of the night It didn't matter how many teeth I was missing in my mouth.. My grand babies were going to be with me on Christmas eve and Christmas morning and nothing could top that!!!! What a blessing.. You know..through this entire ordeal God always seems to find a way to bless me even in my darkest hour...Words cannot explain what a wonderful God he is and just how amazing he has been to me and my family. Okay I have way too much to say and not enough time to say it in so I will stop for now, but I will continue this weekend. Wow I could write forever.. love you all
First let me start by telling everyone I went to the Doctor on Monday for my CAT Scan test results and guess what it now says in my chart???? N.E.D!!! For those who don't know that stands for NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE.. That's right I am now Cancer Free!!!!!! Whoohoooo .. I will come back to that news later in in my blog, but just had to start with that. I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful Holiday. Ours was filled with blessings beyond compare. It's been 30 days now since my last Chemo treatment and I feel great. The taste in my mouth is just about gone. Every now and again I get that bad taste in my mouth but not often and food is really starting to taste good again. This could be a good and a bad thing as I seem to have no trouble gaining back all the weight I lost since surgery. I feel like I want to eat everything in sight. It is funny though as I never really lost my appetite during chemo, I just couldn't eat because of the taste in my mouth. I have heard others talk about a metallic taste...but mine was nothing like that. It was just this bad horrible taste along with swollen cheeks, tongue and gums. The fur feeling inside my mouth was the worst I think, but that's all over now and the mouth is doing great. I did lose half of my front tooth Christmas Eve which was pretty upsetting to me. As always though my husband Brian and my daughter Courtney insisted that I was still beautiful with or without half of my front tooth and were adamant about putting me back in the Christmas spirit. Now for those of you who didn't know, my girl Terrie and I had a trip planned to LaGrange the day after Christmas so that we could spend part of Christmas together. First we would make our way to Pa Bob's house for the Reeves family Christmas and then off to her son's house for the Cagle family Christmas. We were so excited about this trip and had been planning it for what seemed to be an eternity. Everything was all set. I was getting better every day it seemed and all I needed was for Terrie to meet me there. Well a few days before our trip I really started to feel tired and weak again.. it struck me as strange that I could get tired so quickly and this worried me a little as the drive to LaGrange is almost a 6 hours, but I pushed along and told myself I would be fine just eat right, get lots of rest and pray ..pray...pray.. so here we are all ready to go and then the night before Christmas half my tooth falls out... well needless to say that on top of being upset about what I looked like now I must decide whether or not I should still go to LaGrange looking like this. Well it really didn't take long as I knew I could in no way tell everyone I wasn't coming because my tooth fell out. They would have come to Yulee, hog tied me and drug me all the way to LaGrange, so I decided I would not cancel my trip, but just try to keep a tight lip as I spoke to anyone and maybe I could cover my mouth when bursting out with laughter as there is always lots of laughter when I am with Terrie's family. I will admit Christmas Eve was not looking too good though.. even after deciding that I would still make the trip I was horrified at the thought of everyone seeing me like this.. I tried hard, but just couldn't seem to shake the feeling that I was really starting to look like a monster now. No hair, a face that had seemed to age 20 years in 4 months time and now my front teeth falling out. As I sat there feeling sorry for myself and wondering how would I go out of the house like this???? In walks my grand babies Bryce and Brylee and behind them my Daughter Mandy and her Husband Johnny.. I know my face lit up the whole room.. just to see my babies.. oh how it made my heart feel so wonderful. My grand babies can truly turn my worst days into the best days .. they make me feel a joy that is just unexplainable.. now after about 30 minutes of watching my little darlings run around my house my daughter gives me the best Christmas gift ever.. she looks at me and says "Momma.. we have decided that we are going to stay here with you tonight, Christmas Eve, so that you can watch your grand babies wake up on Christmas morning and open their gifts under the tree" I cannot tell you what that did for me.. at that very moment and for the rest of the night It didn't matter how many teeth I was missing in my mouth.. My grand babies were going to be with me on Christmas eve and Christmas morning and nothing could top that!!!! What a blessing.. You know..through this entire ordeal God always seems to find a way to bless me even in my darkest hour...Words cannot explain what a wonderful God he is and just how amazing he has been to me and my family. Okay I have way too much to say and not enough time to say it in so I will stop for now, but I will continue this weekend. Wow I could write forever.. love you all
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