Chemo Treat # 5 Day 11

Good morning all... I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving weekend. I know I did. I feel great and getting better each day. Thanksgiving day was wonderful. I was able to eat and everything tasted wonderful. No bad taste in my mouth or signs of thrush like I had before. This new mouth wash they gave me seems to be working great. It is a combination of Lidocaine/Benadryl/Maalox which I swish and spit 4 times a day. I still seem to go through the symptoms, but the wash helps me manage them tremendously. Had a great day on Friday. Felt good so decided to go in to town with my hubby and eat lunch. It was so nice we just took our time and enjoyed the peace. Came home, rested some and then went to bingo. We didn't win, but had a great time with Donna, my sis Lori and my Nephew Dillon. I love bingo!!!! Saturday went good as well. My Daughter Mandy and I went up to St. Mary's to have breakfast and enjoyed some momma/daughter time.. I love having one on one time with everyone. I did realize though that driving is becoming more and more difficult. Was worried enough that I talked to my hubby Brian about it and we decided that I would try driving into work on Monday and if I am still having problems we would need to seek some alternatives. Well after talking about it I decided this morning to look up the side effects for the new medicine they gave me to help with my Neuropathy. Guess what???? Everything I have been feeling.. dizziness, drowsiness, weakness, shaking of a part of your body that you cannot control (my hand that morning driving into work) blurred vision, unsteadiness, memory problems, dry mouth, all of it are side effects from the Gabapentin which I take for my Neuropathy. I can't tell you how relieved I was. I now know what is causing me to feel the way I have been lately which is half the battle. Now that I am aware of what the cause is I plan to call my doc on Monday to set up an appointment and talk to him about this so he can let me know how we should move forward.  I really feel so much better now that I know why I have been feeling this way. Well Thanksgiving has come and gone and now it's time to get ready for Christmas and my last chemo treatment. I am so excited. When all of this started back in June I never thought we would get here and look now.. Please pray that my last chemo treat goes great and we bounce back quickly and that all my tests come back negative.. whoopeee that would make me and all of you so happy!!! I bet you can guess whats on my Christmas list this year.. I love you all and hope you have an amazing week!!!!!!

Chemo Treat # 5 Day 8

Good morning all..Let me start by saying Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. It has been a pretty crazy 8 days. Let's see Chemo went well. Felt a little sick on Thursday, but managed to go to work then went and got my Neulasta shot. Felt pretty weak on Friday, but had a wonderful day with my sis Lori. She came and spent the day with me. We watched Steel Magnolias which she had never seen before and we laughed some and cried some.. It was amazing. Had wonderful talks and just enjoyed our time together. This Ovarian Cancer has changed a lot of things in my life. Some changes not so good and some oh sooo good. I can't believe how much closer it has brought me and my family and my friends. It is so amazing. Words cannot explain how wonderful they make me feel inside. Thank you so much sis for taking the day off to sit with me. Our time together is so precious to me. Friday night was not a good night. I woke up at 2:30am and never went back to bed until 5:00pm Saturday night. This cancer has definitely taught me one thing.. Life stops for no one.. as with anyone you still have to deal with the day to day problems. We made it through though thank you God. I also learned though that this chemo is pretty tough stuff and if you dare not get the rest you need it will rare it's ugly head and let you know real quick. So off to bed I went on Saturday night. Woke up at 4am on Sunday and felt pretty bad. Very nausea, weak and out of it. I stayed in bed most of the day Sunday, until that night when I felt pretty bad. Brian bless his heart tried to sooth me the best way he knew how and insisted we take a temp reading just in case. Sure enough I had a fever of 100.0. At least now we knew what we were dealing with so took some Tylenol and laid back down and covered up like an Eskimo. Within 30 minutes my fever broke thank you Jesus and I slept for the remainder of the night. I spent most of Monday in bed. No more pain in my joints (really think the aches this time were not due to the chemo but actually from the fever) felt pretty weak though all day Monday. Tried to eat what I could on Monday in order to gain strength so I could go to work on Tuesday. I have become very adamant about making myself go to work on the Tuesday following chemo no matter how I feel. In the past it just seems to help me get over the hump. I have to admit though I was pretty worried about whether or not I would make it this time. Woke up on Tuesday and still felt pretty weak. I made myself get in the shower which for me was pretty tough as I hadn't managed to stand for more than 2 to 3  minutes over a  3 day span. I did well though. Got in, took a quick shower, got myself dressed and was determined to get to work. As I sat and drank my coffee that morning I was pretty worried about the drive in to work. My commute to work is at least an hour at best so this was quite a challenge for me. I prayed about it and asked God to lead the way. Tell me Lord.. is this a challenge best suited for another day or can we do this today???? I really wasn't sure, but drank the rest of my coffee and waited for his reply. Well as always he replied swiftly.. as I was drinking the last bit of my coffee I decided to open some email .. including my daily word for the day....and there it was.. there was the answer to my prayer.. The grace of God is upon me.
The grace of God is upon me, enabling me to meet every challenge and condition graciously. Knowing this, I rely on God's strength for the serenity to see me through every difficulty. It is God's power that gives me the ability to be gracious at all times, in all circumstances.
The grace of God is upon me, therefore, I no longer fear illness or accident, lack or limitation of any kind. The grace of God fills me with the assurance that God-life in me is perfecting every cell and every function of my body. My role is to believe and act accordingly.
The grace of God is upon me. In this knowing I am free from worry, free from discontent. I am free to be loving, kind and happy, free to enjoy every day of my life.
All of you share in God's grace.--Philippians 1:7

Now I have to ask you...Does it get much plainer than that????? I could not believe how quick and direct his response was.. (what an amazing God we have) so off to work I went. I made it to work safe and sound and I will tell you he drove my truck that morning. He took the wheel and lead me safely to where I should be. Things were slow at first that morning, but after a while I felt the strength building in me and sure enough I made it through the day and back home again. What a day!!! Wednesday morning I got up and felt so much better. I was so excited about Thanksgiving and spending time with family. Took my meds and off to Lab Corp I went as it was time for blood work. As I was driving this feeling came over me.. I started feeling tight pressure in my head and my right hand started jumping uncontrollably. I pulled over to the side of the road and by the time I got to the side of the road, the feeling stopped and so did the jumping. I felt ok so started back on the road, got to Lab Corp ok, shook it off as just a side effect of the chemo and on to work I went. I got to work and felt a little off, but not enough to say anything to anyone. As the day went on though I seemed to notice certain things that concerned me so I figured I better tell someone. I talked to my sis Leigh who thank God works with me and she determined that it was time to call the doc. So I called the doc and he seemed pretty concerned so off to the hospital I went. Now here we are it's the day before thanksgiving and now all my friends and family are worried to pieces.. this part bothers me quite a bit. I do not like to worry my family or friends like this as they have plenty going on in their lives and just the cancer it self worries them enough, but anyway it was out of my hands now. The Doctor at Baptist South decided we needed to run all kinds of tests. They ran an EKG, a Chest Xray, a CAT scan and an MRI.. Let me tell you anywhere else and I would have been there all night, but not this place I was in and out of those tests in no time.. had all the tests run and now just waiting for the results. Well just let me say Thank you once again Jesus.. everything came back great!!!!! No signs of a stroke or anything strange that would cause concern. I received my discharge papers and we were out of there by 5:00pm. Once again our God had carried me through. What we did learn at the hospital (which I really knew already, but didn't take as seriously as I should) was  that you don't mess around with chemo... if you do not get the rest that is needed it will put you down quickly. So as I guess you can imagine it's nothing but rest rest rest for me for at least the next four days. Today is Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for. First and foremost I am so thankful to be able to spend this Thanksgiving with my family and friends. This will be one of the best Thanksgivings ever as I will take time to enjoy each and every moment ...and savor my time with those I love and those that love me.. that's what it's all about for me now.. enjoying each moment I have with those that I love and care about.. I truly am so thankful.. you just cannot believe how wonderful the people in my life are. God has surrounded me with best of the best... and to him I give all the praise and all the glory for without him and all the blessings he has bestowed upon me I am nothing... Today and every day I give thanks..... I love you all and pray that each and every one of you have a safe and blessed Thanksgiving.

Chemo Treat # 5

Good morning all, well I am all set up in my favorite chair this morning and all is well so far. Felt very jittery this morning, lite headed and very edgy. I took my steroids last night then anti nausea this morning with a Adivan to calm me this morning. Been real emotional this morning for some reason. Can't seem to stop crying. Hope to get past that soon. Everything going in fine. putting taxotere in now then the carbplatin here in a little bit then I can go home. Felling pretty good for the most part just gotta pump myself up more mentally.. I am praying that he give me courage and strength... please lord.. gotta find a way to dry up these tears.. Better go for now.. I love you all and will try top update when I can.

Chemo Treat # 4 Day 19

Good morning all, I have to make this quick as I don't have much time this morning. Was hoping to post an update yesterday, but didn't get a chance to. This should be a pretty busy week. First let me start by saying I feel great! I always do right before my next chemo treat. Today I have my doc appt at 2pm so I will go to work half day then off to see the doc. Pray that the blood test came back great and we stay right on schedule for my 5th treatment. Tuesday is work all day and eat eat eat.. all the things I can as the bad taste in my mouth will be back soon. Going to talk to doc today to see if there is a way to prevent the thrush instead of waiting for it to get here. Wednesday is my 5th chemo treat at 8:45am. Thursday I will go into work and leave around 2:30pm to go get my Neulasta shot. Everyone knows how much I love that. Then Friday I will stay at home and rest rest rest. My sister Lori will be coming to sit with me on Friday. I am so blessed to have so many that care and are willing to do so much. Thank you sis.. Well I better go for now.. I am sorry this one is so short, but will try to update a little better in a few days. I hope you all have a great week!!! After this treatment we only have 1 more to go...Praise God!!!! I love you all!!!!

Chemo Treat # 4 Day 11

Good morning all... How is everyone??? I am doing great! Over the hump on this treatment. I started feeling great on Thursday day 8. I couldn't believe the energy I had. The Doc prescribed a new medicine for my Neuropathy and I do believe it is supplying my energy. The reason I say that is because I never really had this much energy before and it seems to come and go. I take my meds and about an hour later I get this boost.. my body wants to run a marathon. The energy bursts seem to be a good thing, but of course as with all things it comes with some draw backs. This medicine also seems to make me very edgy. I fidget all the time.. sounds crazy I am sure, but I love the extra energy It seems to give me so we will ride with it for now. I am a little hesitant as right now I am on 2 pills 3 times a day. Tonight I start with 3 pills 3 times a day and not sure what that will do. I guess we shall see later in the week. Right now I feel great. My mouth seems to be getting better each day. I am however going to speak with the Doc and see if there is some way to be proactive with this mouth stuff as it is playing a large roll in my bounce back time and brings my spirits down quite a bit. I sure would love to find a way to prevent it from happening at all. Once again we shall see. The Neuropathy seems to be getting better. The numbness in my fingers and toes doesn't seem so bad this time. I only really notice it when I am trying to type, write or grip something. Never really notice it in my feet much as I always have shoes or slippers on. The body aches this time were almost non existent. I experienced some pain in my upper back, but nothing like before. Almost little to no pain in my joints this time. All in all I believe this new chemo cocktail as they call it seems to be working. I am very excited about the fact that food tastes good again. I told Brian I plan to eat like a horse for the next week and a half now that most foods taste good again. I never realized how much fun eating use to be until I couldn't. Mom came by Saturday morning and swooped me up for a beautiful breakfast at Barbara Jeans then off for a little shopping. As always I spent way too much money..but what the heck.. ya only live once right???? We came back to the house and then Courtney and I left for a Jewelry party at Donna's. We had a great time and once again I spent way too much. Can't believe how much fake jewelry cost.. wow.. anyway I had a great day, but was a long one. I came home, ate dinner then sat down for a bit to rest. Before I knew it I was out like a light by 8pm. I have to say the early bed times now stink. I do know I need to get my rest, but sure wish I could make it past 9pm sometimes. I seem to sleep a lot of my time away now and not sure if that is a good thing or bad. I guess it is what it is for now. It's so funny how life changes for a person sometimes. In the past during this time of year it almost made me sick to see how early all the stores put up Christmas decorations and started advertising Christmas specials. This year though .. I love it!!! I love knowing that Thanksgiving is almost here and that Christmas is right around the corner. For the first time in years I am as giddy as a child when I think about sitting around the Christmas tree with my family, watching our children and grand children open their presents and spending the entire day thanking God for his sweet blessings and sharing good times with family and friends. I know that for the first time I truly know what it is to be thankful. I truly know how wonderful and special each day is with my family and friends. Every laugh..every smile... every hug and kiss seems so much sweeter... I plan to saver each moment and store it away in my treasure box of memories. I plan to make the very most out of each day and each holiday. It is so funny how as we grow older we seem to get this crazy idea that getting excited about the holidays isn't the "grown up" thing to do any more. That somehow letting the child in us shine through makes us less of an adult... well personally...this year and every year going forward I plan on being a child again. I plan on letting the silly in me shine right on through. I now know that life is too short to always play the adult part. This year shopping for those I love will be exciting and not such a hassle, putting lights and decorations up will be a pleasure and not some chore that has to be done, Hearing Christmas carols will lift my spirits and add warmth to my soul and not this awful dread that Christmas is near.. No this year and each year after,  that God above chooses to bless me with... I plan on letting the light shine through. I too will dance like a child in my heart at the thought of Holidays coming.. I too will allow my heart to skip a beat when I think of God and all his wonders during the Holiday season.. for I now know that each Holiday I share with those I love so much is a true blessing and is meant to be celebrated and enjoyed with all the love and happiness there is share. I can't wait!!!! Whoohooo!!!!! I hope everyone has a great week. I will try to update you again soon. I love you all and thank you all so much for your prayers.. Our God is doing amazing things...

Chemo Treat # 4 Day 6

Good morning all, Okay I am starting to feel better now. Hoping I am past the hump on this one. My mouth is pretty bad again so started the mouth wash. I hope to get that under control earlier than before. I can't eat of course so having a hard time gaining my strength back. Little bits here and there. I am going to work today and pray I find some kind of energy. The fatigue is terrible, but gotta try to get up and get going. The body aches have not been bad this time. I haven't taken any Tylenol which is a plus considering I take all kinds of other pills. One less pill is always a plus in my book. I have been talking a lot to the big man and know that he has me. Two more and done.. keeping that thought going. God really is listening ..can't believe how quick he is to answer sometimes.. it truly is amazing. Please keep praying for Csilla's Mom and family as the prayers are working. She is off life support now and even talking..AMEN.. I hope you all have an amazing week. Hope to update you again soon. I love you all!!!