Chemo Treat # 4 Day 3

Good Morning all, I hope everyone is doing great. I am doing okay so far. Had my 4th Chemo treat on Wednesday. Woke up and felt ok on Thursday and went to work. Left work around 2:30pm and went to the doc office for my Neulasta shot then came home and went to bed pretty early. Mom came over and spent the entire day with me Friday and it was great. I felt pretty good most of the day. The bad taste in  my mouth is back of course, but so far no thrush yet. Let's pray that does not return. Mom and I talked and laughed and went through some pics. I love spending time with my Momma. I never seem to have enough time with her though. It seems the more I get the more I want. My Momma is the best listener in the whole wide world. She just lets you talk and talk and never minds the subject. Good thing she doesn't charge a fee. I know this probably isn't the place, but I really want everyone to know how much my Momma means to me.. she is the most amazing woman I have ever met. She is everything I always wanted to be and more. I know that she is a big part of who I am today and that is saying a lot considering what we both have been through in our lives. By watching her deal with the trials and tribulations in her life she has taught me how to deal with my own. If not for her I am not sure how I would what I am going through today. She taught us as young girls to be strong, honest, loyal, independant, true and God loving woman. She taught us that we were never any better than others and that no one was any better than us. She taught us that sometimes life isn't fair, but ya pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on with your head held high. I am so proud of the woman I am today and without Momma I would not be that woman. She is and always will be the wind beneath my wings... I truly wish everyone could have a Mom like mine.. I thank God every day that he put me in her life and her in mine. That he watched over us and never gave up pushing us to have what we have today...I would like to share one last thing about my Mom before I go...I know she doesn't really like country music much, but there is this one song that always reminds me of my Mom and each time I hear it I cry like a baby because she is an eagle when flys and I admire, respect and love her so much.  I hope you don't mind, but thought I would leave you all with the words to this song. If you have a Momma like mine.. call her or go see her... tell her what an amazing woman she is and how blessed you are to have her in your life. I know I am and I thank you Lord for allowing me to spend this prescious time with her.

She's been there, God knows, she's been there
She has seen and done it all
She's a woman, she know how to
Dish it out or take it all
Her heart's as soft as feathers
Still she weathers stormy skies
And she's a sparrow when she's broken
But she's an eagle when she flies

A kaleidoscope of colors
You can toss her around and round
You can keep her in your vision
But you'll never keep her down
She's a lover, she's a mother
She's a friend and she's a wife
And she's a sparrow when she's broken
But she's an eagle when she flies

Gentle as the sweet magnolia
Strong as steel, her faith and pride
She's an everlasting shoulder
She's the leaning post of life
She hurts deep and when she weeps
She's just as fragile as a child
And she's a sparrow when she's broken
But she's an eagle when she flies

She's a sparrow when she's broken
But she's an eagle when she flies
Oh, bless her, Lord
She's an eagle when she flies

Chemo Treat # 4

Good morning all, I apologize for not posting sooner.. I have been so crazy this week. I am now sitting in the docs office receiving my 4th chemo treatment. So far everything is going great. Last week after I saw the doctor we decided to change a few things up. I will still stay with the new chemo cocktail of Taxotere, but they decided it would be best to cut my steroids in half due to the thrush I had after the last treatment. I sure hope it works. They also put me on another medication to help the neuropathy as we still have not found anything to help relieve that. Hopefully this new medicine helps. Once they get me weaned on this med I will take 3 pill 3 times a day.. whew.. that's a lot of meds especially when I was already taking so much. Anyway I truly hope it works. I feel pretty good today.. Had a pretty good couple of weeks at work so I am happy. Please pray that I bounce back quickly from this one. I was informed last Wednesday that the treatments are accumulative so that now concerns me as it will now get a little tougher to bounce back as quickly as I have been. The good thing about knowing this is that I am aware of it now and will not become so depressed when I don't bounce back as quickly as I think I should. I have a friend from work. Her name is Csilla and they just found out her mom has cancer, but before they could get her in to see an oncologist she had a heart attack and had to have a triple bypass. She is now on life support as her body is very weak. Her mind is still going strong, but very heavily sedated now. Please join me in praying for Csilla, her momma and family. I know what prayers can do... They work on me each and every day. I know that God will watch over her and keep her safe and bring her back to her family soon.. well I really have a lot more to tell you, but it looks like I am out of here in about 30 minutes so need to start packing up. I love you all so much and hope you are having a blessed week

Chemo Treat #3 Day 11

Good morning all,
Im sorry it's been so long since my last post. It was a pretty crazy week. Chemo treat # 3 has proven to be a little bit more challenging than those previous. The taste in my mouth actually got worse so I called my Chemo nurse on Tuesday and they called in a prescription for me. It is a mouth wash that I must swish and swallow. As you can imagine that has not been much fun. I ended up with small bumps all through my mouth and tongue and what felt like a mouth full of fur... This made it very difficult to eat which in turn made it hard to snap back quickly from the chemo this time. I stayed pretty weak up until Thursday. Felt some energy coming back on Thursday and by Friday felt good again. It is still amazing to me what a little food will do for the body. This mouth wash is pretty hard to get down and I must take it four times a day. I must admit I was quite the baby the first day I started taking it until I awoke the next morning with a sweet colorful note taped to my bottle of medicine. One hand drawn big colorful flower with a smiley face in the middle, green grass, a blue sky, a pink butterfly, a little lady bug and a yellow smiley face sun and a sweet note that said "Good morning sunshine, hoping you have a great day and that this icky mouthwash taste like chocolate ice cream. I love you...Courtney". I have to tell you ....that mouthwash doesn't taste too bad now...all I have to do is look at that sweet note from my daughter Courtney and it turns to chocolate ice cream. Words just cannot explain what my daughter Courtney means to me. She has grown into such an amazing inspiration... Wow.... everyone deserves to have at least one Courtney in their life.   Friday was a great day. We had a little celebration for boss's day(a gorilla in a pink tutu with a singing telegram for all of our managers) plus lots of food. Was able to taste and eat pretty good for the first time. Brian and I went to Bingo Friday night with Donna, Tanya, my sis Lori and my nephew Dillon.. we had so much fun. I was even able to yell Bingo... yes that's right I won!!! whoohoooo.. Brian won as well... I do love me some bingo. Got home around 1am as of course we love to sit around after bingo and talk..well I do.. poor Brian is forced to listen to the chatter..haha finally got into bed around 2am which is pretty late for me considering I don't make it up much past 9pm these days. Slept in until 8am on Saturday..that felt good. Got up and sat on the porch drinking my morning coffee. Called Momma and she told me Daddy was in Fernandina for the day at the car show so I decided to go see my Daddy for a bit. What a beautiful day.... my nephew Nicholas and his girl Eden came out and we all walked around and looked at the beautiful cars (my Dad's was the best of course). We then decided to get an ice cream (ok I wanted one) which tasted amazing..and for me that is such a blessing right now. We sat under a nice shady oak, ate our ice cream, talked and laughed and watched the people walk by. What an amazing day... and to top it all off my daddy's car was in the top 50 out of 240 cars for peoples choice... my daddy really does do some amazing things with his cars. I guess you could say that Saturday was something right out of heaven. Felt great and had a great time with my daddy and family. It is now Sunday morning and once again I am on the porch sipping coffee and  listening to the world wake...oh and one very loud bird... God really is amazing. I feel great and think the mouth wash is starting to work. I still feel the small bumps, but they seem to be going away slowly. For the most part I feel pretty good physically and emotionally. I cannot tell you what it means to have so many friends and family around me. They, along with God have carried me through. I must admit there are times when I feel weak and give this cancer more power than it deserves. These times are few and swift thanks to God, family and friends. I cannot imagine going through this alone and thank God each day that I don't have to. In the beginning when I started this journey I felt it best to keep friends and family at bay during the worst days of my treatments..only allowing Brian, Courtney and sometimes Momma to see me at my worst, but as time passes and we get these treatments behind us I realize that it is during these tough times that I need my friends and family the most. It is during these times that I must let go and let God, family and friends carry me through... If you know me well at all... you know that this is not an easy thing for me. Not because I don't trust them to carry me, but because in my heart I never want to be a burden to those I love so much. In my heart I felt that I was here to do the lifting...not them.. not even God... wow ...how mis-guided is that? I now realize that even the strong need to be carried and more importantly the weak need to lift... this is how we receive strength and wisdom..this is how we build character and become the wonderful beings that we are.. God is truly teaching me so much through all of this... I can only hope that I continue to be his sponge and soak up all there is to learn in this little time that we have.. I love you all very much and hope that your week is a blessed one.

Chemo Treat #3 Day 4

Good morning all, I am usually not on here by day 4, so gonna take this as a good sign. Chemo went good. Much shorter this time. It only lasted 2 1/2 hours which was nice. Thursday I felt great. Went to work had a great day, then went to doc office and got shot. Had a good night was tired but fine. Woke up Friday morning bright and early at 4am. Felt ok, but light headed and nausea. Taste in my mouth is horrible this time. I have tried to eat, but nothing seems to taste ok. I am very glad I decided to stay home on Fridays after chemo. I think that is best. Was up on and off Friday and over all not too bad of a day other than taste in mouth. Slept in on Saturday until around 8am then got on skype with Terrie for 2 1/2 hours.. me and that girl can talk. Love being able to see her beautiful face even if we are 6 hours away from each other. Saturday was ok. Very tired and weak. Taste in my mouth getting worse. Brian made big batch of chili which smelt so good all day. Tried to eat some in the afternoon, but just didn't taste right. This part is driving me nuts as I am very hungry, but can't eat. The only thing that seems to taste half way descent is rice chex cereal so it looks like I will be eating a lot of that for now. Trying to stay up as much as I can as laying in the bed is already getting old. I sit out on the back porch quite a bit and just rest in hopes I will feel myself getting better. We are pretty much half way there now and if everything goes as planned will be done with this chemo stuff in no time. I can't wait for Christmas this year. I truly feel this is gonna be the best Christmas ever!!!! Well I am pretty tired and it's hard to type with the numbness in my hands so I will go for now. I will try to update you all either later today or later in the week. I love you all

Chemo Treat # 3

Good morning all,

It's that time again... another round and one more down. I spoke with nurse yesterday and she eased my mind concerning the new cocktail. She says side effects are pretty much the same except the fatigue. I should expect the fatigue to be more severe than previously which may result in a few more aches and pains, but with lots of rest I should be ok. Still planning on trying to make it to work tomorrow, then shot tomorrow afternoon and home to rest for the next three days. If all goes well I will try to go to work on Monday, but have decided not to push it. If I feel bad I will stay home Monday and go back on Tuesday. I am feeling anxious of course this morning , but took an ativan so hopefully that helps. My bags are packed and I am ready to go. I am not sure when I will be on here next, but will try to keep you updated as best as I can. I feel your amazing prayers and support this morning as my daily word hit the nail right on the head. I will post it here so you can share in the amazing messages that I get each day which always seem to fit whats in my heart. I love you all and hope you have an amazing week.
Worry-FreeAll things are working for my highest good.
When I worry, I am agreeing that external things have power over me. But when I put thoughts of anxiety and worry out of my mind, I rest in the assurance that all things are working for my highest good. I readily see that I cannot think an anxious thought while thinking thoughts of good, trust and confidence. I cannot be disturbed when I abide in the presence of God.
This is not an exertion of my willpower, which may cause as much mental tension as worry itself. It is a laying aside of worry by focusing on peace, faith and assurance. I let the positive thoughts crowd out the worry and fill my mind so full that I am no longer anxious. Life is revealed to me in a new way when I no longer give in to worry.
Do not worry about your life.--Matthew 6:25

Chemo Treat #2 Day 20

Good morning all,

It's a beautiful crisp morning here in Florida.. getting cooler and cooler each day. That really is a good thing for me as the heat wears me down and the cool crisp air gives me a little extra bounce in my step. Went to the Doc yesterday and all looks great. He seems to be very confident in the fact that I am gonna whiz right through this and come out even stronger and better than ever. We talked about my Neuropathy (numbness in hands and feet due to nerve damage from chemo) He seems very concerned and therefore is switching up my chemo cocktail. I must admit it has me a bit scared as I have been doing so well with what they were giving me and as my Mom has always says..if it ain't broke don't fix it so feel a little leery about this switch. I do not know what to expect as he explained that the only difference between what I was getting and what I will be getting are the side effects, but never gave me a chance to ask what those side effects might be. They will also change up my pre meds (steroids night before) which I am not sure how they will do as I must start my pre meds tonight. I plan to call my chemo nurse Pat and ask her what this means for me and what do I need to get from the drug store to prepare.. UGH!!!! Change is always unsettling for me, but something that I am learning to take in stride. I shall give it to him and know that he will see me through this. I sure wish I didn't feel so pressed for time though when I do see the doc. It always seems I wait for an hour or more to see him then talk with him for 5 minutes at the most then out the door. It's really not his fault though as for some reason I always get nervous when he walks in the room. Anyway it is what it is and we shall take it as it comes. We did talk about this CA-125 stuff though. I had read that this is a blood test that tells the activity of cancer in your system. When I asked him about it he explained that my score was normal, but that it really doesn't come into play much concerning the type of tumor I had so back to square one there. I explained to the Doc how I had been reading up on cancer and he also explained that most of what I read about ovarian cancer does not have anything to do with the type of cancer I am fighting. Only 2% of ovarian cancer patients are found to have what they call Granulosous Cell Tumor (I am sure I didn't spell it right) therefore there is not much out there to go by. He does feel strongly though that this is a low grade cancer and I will kick it's butt fairly easy... of course what he doesn't know is that my God has already taken care of that part.. anyway it's pre-meds tonight...then my chemo treat number 3 tomorrow. I have spoken to the man upstairs of course and pray that as before the side effects stay at a minimum and that I get back up and running as quickly as possible. Please keep the prayers coming.. as I truly feel in my heart that prayers are the real cure... I love you all so much and hope you know how grateful I am for each and every one of you!!!! You are all one of the many blessings I receive each and every day!!!!! Talk to ya in a few days.. heck maybe even tomorrow morning if I keep getting up so early. Make it a blessed week!!!!!

Chemo Treat #2 Day 19

Good morning all, didn't get a chance to update you this weekend so I thought I would jump on here this morning and give you a quick update. I had a pretty good week last week. Worked all week with no problems. I was pretty tired so had a very lazy weekend just trying to catch up. Kenny came into town this weekend and made me another batch of meatballs to get me through this next chemo cycle. Jed and Quintin also came by this weekend. It was so good to see them. We went to dinner with Mom and Dad Friday night and had a great time. I believe, for the time being anyway, that my hair has stopped falling out. I expected it to start falling out again around the 15th day as it did last time, but it has not. I am now at this in between stage with my hair. I am almost bald, but not quite. Still have patches of hair which is not the cutest do in the world, but that's okay. For now, I am wearing ball caps only, as they seem to look ok and are not too hot. I imagine as we get colder I will wear scarfs or do rags underneath to keep my head warm. My Neuropathy has not gotten any better in my right hand, but has pretty much gone away in my feet and my left hand. All in all I feel wonderful! Thank you Jesus. I continue to feel your prayers every day so please keep them coming. I have a pretty busy week coming.. Today I have my Doc appt.. lots of questions for him this time.. Look out Doc.. Wednesday is Chemo treat #3, then Neulasta shot (kicks my butt) on Thursday and then Friday through Sunday we shall deal with the side effects. I pray that by Monday I will be over the hump and back on my way to feeling good again. I will try to get Brian or Terrie or Momma to post an update this weekend if I am unable. I hope you all have an amazing week!!!! I thank God each and every day for everyone of you!!!! Thank you all so much for going through this with me... I know in my heart I couldn't do it without you or him! Thank you!!!!! I love you all!!!!